Friends and colleagues

Some friends and colleagues will feel unsure of how to approach you to discuss your battle with mesothelioma and may leave it up to you to make the first move. The longer the silence, the harder both you and they will find it is to break. If you feel inclined, keep in touch with quick phone calls or emails. If you confide in them early after your mesothelioma diagnosis, they will feel more comfortable helping you all along the way.

Friends can provide distraction and help you carry on your day to day living. They will probably welcome it if you can tell them how they can help ease your daily stresses. Many people enjoy being able to help.

Some friends will back away because they are unable to handle their own feelings relating to your illness.

And there may be times when you simply don't want to see people and just want to be on your own. Inappropriate reactions from well-meaning friends can feel distressing, so let those closest to you protect you. Let them answer the door or the telephone. In the hospital feel free to ask that no visitors be allowed, if that's your preference. A relative or nurse can help with this. Some hospitals will have the operators deflect unwanted telephone calls or visitors. You don't need to feel obligated to see people if you need time to yourself.

• Partners
• Your sex life
• Children
• Friends and colleagues